Star Wars Guide to the Australian Election

Best 'Out of Office' Automatic E-mail Replies

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply
to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of
the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything
at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain
and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I
return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99
for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your
message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your
message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try
sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see
who did this over and over and over...)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a
reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by
your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of
"John".

Swearing at Work - A MESSAGE FROM MANAGEMENT

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their colleagues.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING'
phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas
and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. Try Saying: I think you could do with more training
Instead Of: You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?

2. Try Saying: She's an aggressive go-getter .
Instead Of: She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch

3. Try Saying: Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of: And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

4. Try Saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of: F*** off a*se-hole

5. Try Saying: Really?
Instead Of: Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole

6. Try Saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of: Tell someone who gives a f***.

7. Try Saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of: Not my f***ing problem.

8.Try Saying: That's interesting.
Instead Of: What the f***?

9. Try Saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of: No f***ing chance mate.

10. Try Saying: It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of: Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?

11.Try Saying: He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of: He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.

12. Try Saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of: Oi, f*** face.

13. Try Saying:Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of: Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.

Thank You from Management and the letter F, it must be Friday

BTW I ran out of *'s, if anyone has any spare, please send them tru

Sarah Palin in depth interview on SNL

The really scary thing about this is, nearly the entire script comes from Palin quotes

An anthropological introduction to YouTube

I found this super interesting video over on groklaw, 88% of YouTube is New and Original Content, Professor Says

perhaps the best video I have ever watched on YouTube

The Truth About The Truth About Climate Change

From the wonderful team at Crikey

Brendon Nelson is Shameless

The demise of the Right continues in Australia at the moment, for those people overseas who don't know what's going, we just had the first Labour Rudd/Swan Federal Budget.

You maybe familiar with John Howard, he lost the last election and his own seat, which brings us to Mr Nelson.

Down under, when you have a child, you get a baby bonus of $5,000 bucks or there abouts. Showing their left wings roots, the government has decided to means test this handout and limit it to families earning less than $150,000 which has caused outrage from the Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson.

Incidentally, it's funny that he was once a member of the Labour Party and was previously the leader of the most powerful union in Australia. A true conservative indeed!



There was a comical speech from Brendan Nelson on this issue

"Every mother loves her baby, every baby is valued and Mr Rudd should value all babies equally. We should not live in Australia where Mr Rudd thinks that some babies are more valuable than others. It’s very, very important that Mr Rudd understand that every mother loves her baby and this should be an Australia where all babies are equal."

Brenden is also totally outraged, ( he nearly blew his top over this during his budget reply) over the Government's plan to raise the tax on Ready-To-Drink (RTD's) or Alcopops to fix a loophole which makes these drinks taxable at the same rate as spirits.

Which is funny because he initially supported the government's approach and has previously raised the issue in Parliament himself.

All this is meant to tackle the teenage binge drinking epidemic in Australia, Brenden saw his chance and is now standing up for the average bloke who likes a Bundy & Coke after work.

For those not familiar with the photo-shopped subject, it's Frank Gallagher from Shameless, who inspired, over a beer or two, my French mate Thomas to get creative :)

My long term prediction is that the Liberal Party will be rebranded sooner or later, because the Brand is totally shot... They hold across the entire nation, only the Brisbane local council.

Funny Aussie Beaver Ad

(Some) Americans are NOT stupid - WITH SUBTITLES

BatLeb by Merrick and Rosso

thanks mish for the link

Swedish Self-Cleaning Toilet

Aboriginal choreography of Zorba The Greek

I first saw this on the ABC..... it's a wonderful interpretation of the contemporary greek classic

The Ministry of rich old white guys

This satire of the Liberal 70% unions add campaign ( circa $8 Million spent so far, why? ) is so on the mark it's brilliant!

Kevin 007 - The Man With The Golden Jaw

I love seeing Mr John Howard as Dr No!

KEVIN 07 - Rejected Advertising Angle

The Apple iRack

glumbert.com